Duly Noted

kitsunewarlock: deathnote tcg
DDragon: *writes his opponents name on a card*
DDragon: I win
kitsunewarlock: XD

Unbearable

RedneckCoyote: BIG BEAR LAKE, Calif. - A grizzly bear that appeared in a recent Will Ferrell movie killed a 39-year-old trainer with a bite to his neck Tuesday and had to be subdued with pepper spray.
DDragon: of course the bear's going to get away with murder because he's a movie star.

Get the point?

While working on the QA floor...

Coworker: I have told them 5 times what the problem with this bug is and they keep sending it back to me saying they need info
Another coworker: The devs are stupid. you have to talk to them like they're a fetus.
DDragon: "Fix this bug or I'll stab you with a coathanger!"

Assault and Batteries

DDragon: I want to find whoever invented this game and murder him in his sleep http://www.plastelina.net/game14.html
DDragon: actually, no.. that's not what I want to do.
DDragon: I want him to be awake.
oymon: :P

Overboard

DDragon: have you ever met someone who goes completely overboard with retorts?
Sora-kun[SVU]: I have.
DDragon: "Hey.. you really shouldn't mix paper and plastic in the recycle bin."
DDragon: "Yeah? well, at least my mom didn't kill herself."
leo-studiying: o.o

Bridge facer

I was in a chat room and the conversation turned to people killing themselves by jumping off of bridges.

Daeken: i wonder what it'd be like for those few seconds before you died
KesVeegirl: Daeken: I imagine a lot of people getting second thoughts
clinton: well, it takes eight seconds for a watermelon to fall.
DDragon: a human body would probably take about 8 and a half.
DDragon: I bet they go "I hope the water isn't too cold"
DDragon: "Did I shut off the ov-"
DDragon: splat
* HakuPanther chuckles