Then I sleep-hit ctrl+p

DDragon: once I fell asleep with my hand on my keyboard.
DDragon: when I woke up I'd typed zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz for 218 pages
KuzeTheLion: lol

tubes of series

spiralroze: fuck youtube is being a bitch today
Furisky: it may think you are in Pakistan
DDragon: in soviet Pakistan, internet tubes YOU!
lifeline: heh

homebody

DDragon: I'm bored and tired
DDragon: I think I'll go watch tv downstairs for a change of pace.
DDragon: damn my life is dull...
lifeline: hehe

Smashy Smashy

Blubba_Pinecone: A "Wii would like to play" commercial?
Blubba_Pinecone: Brawl deserves more than that...
_2link121: yeah
DDragon: they need a remake of the classic one.
Blubba_Pinecone: xD
Blubba_Pinecone: Yeah
_2link121: lol

E or X

DDragon: you know... few things compare to drinking a big glass of ice water when you're absolutely dehydrated.
oymon: :-)
DDragon: it ranks right up there with peeing when you really REALLY have to go
DDragon: and sex
oymon: :P

No cigar

Nexus: Are any of you a hot chick?
DDragon: I am
DDragon: oh, wait.. you said chick.
DDragon: and hot.
DDragon: and A
DDragon: I'm two unsexy guys.
DDragon: but that's close enough, right?
2link121: lol xD

Stood up

DDragon: dangit..
DDragon: my Satellite signal is going out tonight.
zu dua: :(
DDragon: She was supposed to be dating me!
zu dua: hehe

Dance, kirby, dance

DDragon: it's fun to stay at the
DDragon: \( '.' )/ (^'.'^) (/ '.')_ (/'.'\)
kaedeskitten: heh

Revenge

DDragon: I got back at my cat today for puking on my playstation a few months ago
pudge: o.o;; Don't tell me you forcefed a playstation to your cat..
DDragon: no. I was drinking a diet pepsi after eating a PBJ sandwich, and I had to burp..
DDragon: but the bubble brought up other stuff with it. And it fell on her head.
pudge: Ewww...
DDragon: I cleaned her off though. She almost ate my arm trying to carry her to the sink.
pudge: XD

a little joke

DDragon: "Midgets: The legal alternative to pedophilia"
oymon: :P

King of the...

FLuXKat: raped kuze
leotiger: hot
leotiger: deatils.
FLuXKat: mmmhmm
FLuXKat: he was able to bottom me for the first time yesterday :3
FLuXKat: oh and we saw lions
FLuXKat: and lion cubs
DDragon: uhh..
DDragon: tell us about the lions.
DDragon: for the love of GOD tell us about the lions.
leotiger: LOL
FLuXKat: they were all run run run runr pounce play run run run run run klunk
leotiger: yay!

Scraping the barrel

DDragon: My Dad is Better than Your Dad premieres tonight.
kitsunewarlock: I see...
DDragon: next week they're premiering "Takes One To Know One"
DDragon: and next month they have "I Know You Are, But What Am I?"
kitsunewarlock: lol

Circular Logic

DDragon: I mean.. come on.. 4 and a half hours of cars driving in a CIRCLE
RedneckCoyote: DDragon there is skill
DDragon: yeah..
DDragon: mental fortitude and not falling asleep
DDragon: they need to spice Nascar up
DDragon: they need land mines.. and ballistic weapons

Overboard

DDragon: have you ever met someone who goes completely overboard with retorts?
Sora-kun[SVU]: I have.
DDragon: "Hey.. you really shouldn't mix paper and plastic in the recycle bin."
DDragon: "Yeah? well, at least my mom didn't kill herself."
leo-studiying: o.o

Cutting it close

rapton_x: question, how familiar are you with Linux?
DDragon: about as familiar as I am with Swahili
rapton_x: LOL
DDragon: hmm.. I guess that'll have to do for today's joke..

Lub-dub

Fox_Fable: Sorry, I'm just talking with my mate and telling him Happy Valentines Day.
DDragon: I sent my baby a valentine from vgcats
Fox_Fable: Hehe, hod that gp over DD?
DDragon: she hasn't been online in like a week
Fox_Fable: How'd*
Fox_Fable: Sorry, typing with one hand right now *Laugh*
DDragon: ..... please tell me you're holding something heavy in the other one
DDragon: Wait..

You don't want to hear the music

KesKitsunetaur: what's wrong with pregnancy?
DDragon: nothing wrong with it
DDragon: it's just, a pregnant chick showing off her pussy is like.. there's no bouncer at the club but there's no room left inside anyway
DDragon: and the club is on fire.
DDragon: and the hallway is clogged with mucous
Daeken: lol

omnomnom

DDragon: I'm gonna puke if I don't eat something
Daeken: DDragon: have you considered... eating something?
DDragon: that would mean putting pants on.
Daeken: why?
DDragon: I don't have pants on.
Daeken: i understand that part
Daeken: but why do you have to put on pants to get food?
DDragon: because I'm not wearing a shirt.
* Daeken blinks
Daeken: ok :P
DDragon: I figure I should be wearing at least one of those things when I go to the kitchen.
Daeken: lol

Bridge facer

I was in a chat room and the conversation turned to people killing themselves by jumping off of bridges.

Daeken: i wonder what it'd be like for those few seconds before you died
KesVeegirl: Daeken: I imagine a lot of people getting second thoughts
clinton: well, it takes eight seconds for a watermelon to fall.
DDragon: a human body would probably take about 8 and a half.
DDragon: I bet they go "I hope the water isn't too cold"
DDragon: "Did I shut off the ov-"
DDragon: splat
* HakuPanther chuckles