Stiff. Drink.

DDragon: I can't keep this inside any longer.
DDragon: I have a confession to make :(
DDragon: about a decade ago, right about the time it came out on the market, I took a phone survey about my email habits. I distinctly remember saying, "Well, I just wish someone would tell me all the places I could find Viagra online."
DDragon: I guess it just kinda snowballed from there. I'm so sorry.
Mottebayo: You're a bastard, so it's YOUR fault. >:(
Summercat: Don't come to the next PS party.
Summercat: I will eat your liver.
DDragon: I'll bring the chianti

sucky sucky?

DDragon: I saw this asian lady breastfeeding today.
DDragon: I was so tempted to make a Soy Milk joke.
leotiger: ... thats... horrible

Both of them?

DDragon's Mom's Friend: They're saying coffee is a natural anti-oxidant now.
DDragon: Who's saying that, Starbucks?
DDragon's Mom and her Friend: Hahaha.
DDragon's Mom's Friend: He sounds like my kids.

Revenge

DDragon: I got back at my cat today for puking on my playstation a few months ago
pudge: o.o;; Don't tell me you forcefed a playstation to your cat..
DDragon: no. I was drinking a diet pepsi after eating a PBJ sandwich, and I had to burp..
DDragon: but the bubble brought up other stuff with it. And it fell on her head.
pudge: Ewww...
DDragon: I cleaned her off though. She almost ate my arm trying to carry her to the sink.
pudge: XD

omnomnom

DDragon: I'm gonna puke if I don't eat something
Daeken: DDragon: have you considered... eating something?
DDragon: that would mean putting pants on.
Daeken: why?
DDragon: I don't have pants on.
Daeken: i understand that part
Daeken: but why do you have to put on pants to get food?
DDragon: because I'm not wearing a shirt.
* Daeken blinks
Daeken: ok :P
DDragon: I figure I should be wearing at least one of those things when I go to the kitchen.
Daeken: lol